Month: March 2007


Not flattering, but impressively accurate description of me. Especially the middle 3 paragraphs. :P Take the test yourself HERE. Presently, you are trying to break away from a situation that is causing you considerable worry and concern. Things are getting on top of you and you are feeling depressed almost to breaking point. Obviously there must be a way out – but at this time the solution seems to be escaping you. You want to ‘get away from it all’ and as []


Earlier today, something escaped my lips which revealed to me something about my inner state. It was one of those moments when I did something that was the complete opposite of my conscious intention, and when I regretted my words as soon as I realized I had said them. I feel deep regret for the careless words. It was not in my conscious intention to injure, but something bubbled up from deeper inside me and the subconscious desire for vengeance got the []

Hatred & Judgment

It is not only our hatred of others that is dangerous but also and above all our hatred of ourselves: particularly that hatred of ourselves which is too deep and too powerful to be consciously faced. For it is this which makes us see our own evil in others and unable to see it in ourselves. … … Perhaps we still have a basically superstitious tendency to associate failure with dishonesty and guilt – failure being interpreted as “punishment.” Even if a []

PhD = Post-Henry Depression?

Whenever Zibin goes back to Cornell after a visit to Toronto I feel rather sad. I mean, of course I’d miss him mah right. But he and I both enjoy ourselves when we’re apart too, cos that’s when we get to spend time hanging out with our friends and then talk to each other about it. There are quite a few Zibin jokes circulating out there among my friends in Toronto. I just heard of the latest one in a rather roundabout []

A Lesson in Helplessness

There is something about physical suffering that brings forth the truth of our fragility and vulnerability. Yesterday I felt very sick. Probably just a minor virus… it wasn’t even the most sick I had been in recent memory. But there was something about a persistent and intense throbbing headache coupled with the weakness of throwing up that in that moment just made me wish I could lose consciousness, if just to escape the physical suffering for a little while. I tried relaxing []

On This Day…

Just got a call from you that you vomited out your dinner. When I heard that, it just makes me wish so much that I could be there with you, to take care of you just as so many times you’ve taken care of me when I am sick. While you’re resting away in faraway Toronto and I am here in Cornell, I can only pray for you that God will grant you a restful night. It is times like these that []


Lord, Please help me to stop getting worked up about how blind others are to their problems and faults and to turn my eyes inwards into my own heart. Help me to see and confront my own brokenness and sinfulness so that I can look upon another sinner with Your love and compassion and see Your image in them, no matter how flawed they are. Help me to surrender my pride so that I can escape from self-concern and not judge my []

My Dream Wedding Shoe

Ever since I watched Steve Martin’s Father of the Bride and saw Annie wear sneakers underneath her wedding gown, I had wanted to do the same. Yes, I know it’s not stylish or elegant, but hey, it’s comfortable! And besides, as long as the gown covers my feet, who cares what I’m wearing on my feet? I’m going to be walking around with a heavy dress all day! I’ve never liked wearing heels. With my recently ‘diagnosed’ feet problems (which explained why []


John called me earlier, just as I was getting into a studying groove. He’s always had perfect timing :P And of course I chose to speak with him… it’s been quite a while since our last chat. 1 hour and 10 minutes of wonderful conversation and laughter… talking about soccer, common friends, family, and reminiscing about the many funny memories we have about our time in Toronto. I hadn’t thought about those times in a while, I’d almost forgotten we had so []

Too cute to eat?

Yep, I like monkeys! I think they’re intelligent and mischievous and cute. Most zai monkey of all time – Sun Wukong! Cutest monkey – Monkey Boo. And now I think I’ve found a tasty one! Ha ha ha… and it’s waiting for another Monkey to come to Toronto and eat it!