Last week was probably the most hardworking I had been in a long time. Well, it was a writing week, and I always find it easier to concentrate when I’m writing rather than when I am just reading. It’s akin to doing math…your thoughts are focused, your brain is turning, putting thoughts and arguments together, analyzing, postulating…it’s…absorbing. The writing was most intense over the weekend…for both days, I was camped out at Gerstein for a total of 16hrs. I churned out 16 pages in 2.5 days, which is a pretty decent speed for me. Of course Wanting had to tease me about how fast I work when I actually get down to it. But let’s not think about that, shall we? :P Want to make a note to Qiuyan and Li Ning who were also camped at Gerstein over the weekend…it was nice slogging with you girls. Ha ha. And thanks for sharing dinners at the Understudy Cafe, and good converstaion during breaks. The dinner on Sunday, in particular, will keep me amused for some time to come. I feel much more ‘educated’ now about Singaporeans, Hong Kongers and PRCs. Qiuyan, it was especially good to catch up with you after so long. Your family, especially your dad, will be in my prayers. Best of luck to both of you for your exams/tests this week!
Today was my day to slack, as a reward for the past week’s hard work, and for (finally) completing another paper for my comprehensive exams. Was too tired to do much, really…spent the better part of the morning mulling over things in my head and writing emails. I was so focused I didn’t even realize I hadn’t had lunch till it was 2p.m. And still I didn’t ate till I had gone to Bloor St to buy Wanting’s b-dae present (a really cute wallet! i couldn’t resist getting one for myself too). Then it was home…where I found my brand new Mary Poppins (London Musical) CD waiting in my mailbox! After reading the inserts and checking out all the lyrics, I fell asleep.
Evening time was my long-awaited date with Wanting. (Calvin’s in Montreal for work again) We’ve both been so busy and otherwise occupied with life this semester, it seems whenever we get together we can talk forever! We talked all the way to Queen St. where we had crepe for dinner…we talked non-stop during dinner (which lasted erm, about 3 hrs?), and we talked all the way home as we ambled at a very leisurely pace, and we continued talking standing up in our apartment’s foyer for a good 15mins at least until Calvin called. First time in a long time we could do that…without being in a rush to go anywhere. And it struck me tonight, how different we have both become in the last 2-3 years. Wanting…she sounds more assured now about herself than 3 years ago, about who she is, what she wants, and what she thinks. And as we talked this evening, about friends, religion, the future, being in Toronto vs Singapore, familly and relationships, I also realized how much more I know now about these matters in my life than when we talked about these topics a few years ago.
These past few days, the topic of identity has cropped up more than once. Li Ning was sharing with me too, about her ‘identity crisis’ having left China at 16 for Singapore, and now Toronto…not truly feeling that she belonged anywhere, knowing she could survive anywhere, but still wondering where she best fits. Tonight, the topic came up again in a different form with Wanting. And it’s interesting…this has been a question that has been bugging me for ages. I know I don’t fully belong in either Singapore or Toronto. But over the last 8 years, I have quite unexpectedly found myself appreciating more and more things about Singapore, even though the same problems that I had with Singapore persists. The topic of medical care cropped up again last night when I was talking to a Singaporean friend here…who found out first-hand just how inefficient Canada’s medical care is. His friend, who needed to get into A&E was kept waiting close to 6-7 hrs before being attended to. I’ve heard many rants about the downside of Canada’s medical care in the years I’ve been here… and I admit, that this is one area that I appreciate more and more about Singapore.
So many things to think about. So many questions. So much ground already covered, yet the road goes ever on. Ah well. Life. :)
Journey of the Heart 