I learned today, that while all along I have been trying to love God, I have not allowed God to love me. And linked to that is my inability to love and accept myself, and my ingrained idea that love needs to be merited.
What a heavy burden it is that I have been carrying for 30 years and I did not even know it!
Lord, as You continue to reveal my own heart to me, I discover that I am crippled and wounded far worse than I ever realized. I don’t even know how to let myself be loved by You without trying to earn the right to be loved! What an incredible handicap to have. But what a wonderful thing to discover, that all the love I already feel from You is but a fraction of what I could enjoy if I learn to let myself be truly loved!
Dear Lord I’d like to pray especially for myself and those of my friends whom I know also have trouble in loving and accepting themselves, whether they realize it or not. For those who feel themselves to be in darkness but do not know how to get out. For my friends who struggle with loved ones who do not understand them. Please help us to find the courage to start on the path to healing, and to open our hearts to being wholeheartedly loved by You. Amen.