I asked myself today, “How do you really feel about this motherhood thing? Do you want to have children?” I replied,
Yes I do. I have always loved children. I always wanted to be a mother and take care of children. I want to love them, protect them, and see them grow up. I want my own children. I do. But that is not my greatest desire. There is something I want even more; and that is fulfilling God’s purpose for me.
“Be it done unto me according to Thy word!” (Lk 1:38)
So often I have been afraid to know what I really want because I was afraid that what I want may not be what God wants for me. Today I took the plunge to hear the truth in my heart and I learned something delightful – that I don’t have to deny any desire in my heart in order to affirm the greater desire to belong to God and to let His will be done unto me.
This means that I do not have to be afraid of the power of my desires and longings… because now I know that my greatest desire is God!
(Thank you, Blessed Mother, for this special grace you must have “won” for me through your intercession. How precious to have discovered all this on the Solemnity of your Immaculate Conception!)