I was reading Thomas Greene S.J.’s “When the Well Runs Dry”. I paused at the end of a section to contemplate. Right then, out of the blue, clear as day, I heard in my heart – deeply, emphatically, “I love you. I – Love – You. I love you so very, VERY much.”
My eyes filled with tears. It has been a while since I heard His voice in such a personal way.
Then I heard again, “I love you. Whatever I do, I do because I love you.”
My heart filled with gratitude and love. I am fortified.
The path ahead is clear. God never makes empty promises to me. For some time now He has been indicating to me that the road ahead will get darker and dryer and more difficult. But it is the path for all whom He loves: The purifying night to strip me of the self-love that keeps me from cleaving to Him completely. There is an inner knowing that the time that He has been speaking of is a lot closer now. Perhaps the beginning is almost upon me. Perhaps it may have already begun without my knowing.
I know that there is no chance that I would be able to make this journey on my own strength. Even so, I knew that I would probably still end up trying to force my way. I didn’t linger on this depressing thought.
You alone can do this. I am weak and cowardly, but it is not I who will accomplish this matter. You will do it for me. Just grant me, Lord, the grace to never set limits on what You do in me.
I love how He suddenly speaks to me when I am sitting in Starbucks instead of when I was silently praying before the Blessed Sacrament earlier. I love how unpredictable and uncontainable and incomprehensible He is. I love how He appears when He wants to, and not when I want Him to. I love that I am meant to have all eternity to know and love this God of mystery.