Please teach me how to honour you with my life. Help me to align my life to your purpose and will for me. Help me to take on without protestation what you ask me to do; help me to let go of anything that you do not ask me to take on.
Lord, please guide me towards surrendering all my relationships to you, trusting that you and you alone will be sufficient for me; and that you will provide me with all that I need. I’d like very much for you to choose my friends for me, Lord. I’d like very much to be free to love where you ask me to love… and to be unshackled and free from my own wishes and expectations.
Help me to see your face, O Lord. I wish to serve ONLY YOU.
At mass today I offered myself once again to God. I thought of how I wished to be free from all attachments so that I can serve him wholeheartedly – to love where he asks me to love and go anywhere he asks me to go. I wished my energy would not be sapped by useless anxieties and petty jealousies.
I thought of St. Paul, St. Peter, St. Francis, St. Catherine of Siena…and how they were so liberated and free from attachments. Then I felt God tell me gently that they too struggled all their lives with temptations and imperfections. The world saw their holiness, joy, and peace. But they were always battle-weary too. There are no exceptions – for anyone who wishes to be a disciple must take up their cross and follow Christ to death in order to enter new life.
And if no servant is greater than the master as our Lord said (Jn 15:20), then perhaps Jesus himself struggled more than anyone of us.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin.” – Heb 4:15
How hard he must have fought and struggled against his human weaknesses and temptations in order to prevail against sin every time! In those many hours spent in prayer with his Father, far away from everyone else, how Jesus must have prayed for strength again and again!
It seems then, that the way forward for me will never be devoid of struggle. For if I am to follow Jesus more closely, then I would probably have to struggle even more in earnest. It is the struggle to die to myself so that Christ may live in me more fully, and so that I may be more completely alive in Him.
Let it be so. My life is Yours… do with it as you will. Just as long as you let me be with you always!