You Are Still God

Let me rediscover You
And by your grace I’ll follow through
Reveal to me the God I thought I knew
Let me rediscover You
And breathe in me your life anew
Tell me of the God I never knew
Jesus, let me rediscover You
( Lyrics from “Let Me Rediscover You” by Downhere)

The more I know you, the more I realise there is so much more to you that I do not know.
The more I desire to be one with you, the more elusive that union seems to be.
The more I love you, the more you seem to be absent from me.
And yet, even though you do not seem to be as near as you used to be,
my heart is more yours than it ever was.

So many times I wished there was an easier way to you. A way that does not bring me through the quagmire of my distorted desires, twisted motivations, burning insecurities and crippling fears. There are times when I feel as if I am sinking in the quicksand of self-doubt and I am so overwhelmed by discouragement that I forget why I started on this journey.

Then, in the desert of my loneliness and despair, I rediscover you. You reveal yourself to me anew, and I am stunned at the God I thought I knew. Indeed, you would not be God if you could be comprehended. You would not be God if you could be understood. You would not be God if you could be fully known. And you ARE God.

You are God of my triumphs, God of my failures. 
You are God of my dancing, God of my mourning.
You are God of my certainties, God of my doubts.
You are God of my giftedness, God of my brokenness.
You are God, and I am yours.

And so I surrender myself anew to you O God. Whatever the journey ahead may hold for me, I accept it. For there is nothing else but You that matters. Purify me till all that is within me reflects your glory, your love, and your truth.

I offer you my loneliness. I offer you my fears. I offer you my doubts, my sickness and my health.
I offer you my joy. I offer you my hopes. I offer you everything I have ever known and everything I have ever hoped to have. Just promise me that we are together in this journey, and that we will always have each other. And give me such love and such faith, dear Lord, that I will continue to love and serve you even when I cannot sense your presence.

Help me to love you as you deserve. Amen.