I want to be free

Discovered this in an undated draft. Everything written here still holds true for me today.  There is only one thing that matters – the salvation of souls. The salvation of my soul and the salvation of all souls. Jesus Christ became man and died for my sins to set me free. Free from all that bind me and prevent me from living the abundant life I was created to live. If the glory of God is the human person fully alive, then []

‘Wake up, my child. Wake up before death wakes you up.’

(Excerpt from Ron Rolheiser’s “The Shattered Lantern”) In his autobiography, “Report to Greco,” Nikos Kazantzakis tells how as a young man he went to visit a then-famous monk. He describes his encounter as follows: Working up courage, I entered the cave and proceeded toward the voice. The ascetic was curled up on the ground. He had raised his head, and I was able in the half-light to make out his face as it gleamed in the depths of unutterable beatitude… I did []

The grace of loneliness

Perhaps to help me experience the longing of Advent more keenly this year, God decided to send my husband away for a month-long work trip half the world away. I don’t think I’ve even allowed myself to acknowledge just how much I miss my best friend and spiritual companion. In all my life I’ve always had an aching and yearning emptiness in my heart – a deep abyss that can never be filled. For years I had tried throwing many things into []

Tepid lover

I discovered a great scandal today.  I found out that I who have so often burned with passion to make disciples of others am merely a tepid lover of Christ myself. I realised that although I have been touched by God’s love and have decided irrevocably to follow Him come what may, my heart is still more attracted to the empty idols my false self craves than to Jesus Christ crucified. I am the worst kind of Christian – one who accepts []

Wonderful

It is a wonderful thing to fail; to come face to face with my impotence and my inability to excel in the spiritual life. It is a wonderful thing to desire God and then to find that perhaps I still do not love God with all my heart, and that I am powerless to make myself do so. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing to fall short and recognise I am who I am; to give myself permission to be imperfect, in []

Office of Readings

Stand firm, immovable in your resolve, doing your full share continually in the task the Lord has given you, since you know that in the Lord’s service you cannot labour in vain.

Message to a soldier for Christ

Why are you surprised when you meet resistance on the way to heaven? How else will you be trained so that you can have the endurance and strength to make the journey and bring others with you? If your heart is truly set on heaven, then welcome the trials that come your way for all things work unto good for those whose hearts are given to Christ. The more committed you are to Christ, the less you will complain or brood when []

A sinner’s reflection on All Saints’ Day

Solemnity of All Saints, 1 November 2013 How often have I proclaimed the Gospel to others with words, telling them that the Kingdom of God is like a pearl of great price which is worth selling everything for? Yet this proclamation of mine has no power to convert souls unless my life resonates with my words. I profess that I have encountered the crucified and risen Christ. I profess that I have encountered Him, that I love Him, and that I have []