I dream quite often when I sleep, and I have all sorts of dreams. Most of the time, my dreams are just episodes which do not make sense. Rarely do I have a dream that makes perfect sense, or which I wish would actually come true. But I had just such a dream this morning…and while it lasted, it was so vivid it was almost real. When I opened my eyes, I still felt the afterglow of that dream…until full consciousness returned and I realized, “It was just a dream.”
I think this was the first time I felt like a dream was ‘a wish your heart makes’. It was perfectly plausible, yet also at present highly improbable. The dream consisted of answers that give me some closure…answers to questions I have long stopped consciously asking. There are times when understanding a situation better doesn’t help… “why look for answers where none occur?” Sometimes, even if there were answers, they may not help either. I have stopped wondering about a lot of things…consciously at least. But it looks like subconsciously, I am still wondering.
Does it matter? Perhaps not. What matters is what I consciously choose to do, what I will. And what I have no control over, I have chosen to surrender. While at times I still struggle, it has been getting easier each time I renew my commitment to trust, to wait, to hope, and above all, to love.
Meanwhile, I will give thanks, because already there is much to be thankful for.
â€œI’ve learned to trust myself, to listen to truth, to not be afraid of it and to not try and hide it.â€ -Sarah McLachlan
“A human being is only interesting if he’s in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it. ” Barbara Streisand