Friendship & Love

When it comes to romance, many like it hot from the beginning. Tales of ‘love at first sight’ are enduringly popular. Another popular take is that of enemies becoming lovers where at first the two can’t stand each other only to find that their simmering caustic chemistry can actually lead to passion.

But for me, my favourite love stories have always been those of deep friendships growing into love. I believe it started with my reading of Anne of Green Gables when I was nine, where Anne Shirley realized that her best friend had become much more important to her than she had thought. The pal she had grown up with, competed with, confided in, shared dreams and heartbreaks with, had somehow crept in and stolen her heart when she wasn’t looking.

Perhaps another reason I like such romances is because when love blossoms from a true friendship, the two people already know and care for each other deeply. Often it’s impossible to know, even in retrospect, when the line of friendship had been crossed. Usually such couples can tell you when they realized they loved the other more than as a friend, but they can almost never pin-point to when they started loving in that way.

I know this very well, because every now and then I still like to ask my husband when he started loving me, and his honest answer has always been, “I don’t know.” And I believe him, because I don’t know when I started either. All I remember is that he was just the most comfortable friend I’ve ever had, someone I hadn’t even been remotely attracted to before, and then one day I realized I cared more than I thought I did.

The transition from friends to lovers can be pretty awkward. It feels like a veil has been lifted and you see the person in an entirely new way. You have to start from a new beginning and learn to re-establish your friendship within the context of a love relationship.

Some couples were friends first… others learned to become friends after falling in love. Either way, I am a firm advocate of friendship between spouses because it’s simply wonderful to experience friendship and love with the most important person in your life!

Here’s a little piece of music I really like titled “Friendship & Love” from a drama (9 end 2 outs) that tells the story of two life-long friends finding themselves not where they thought they would be as they turn 30. Enjoy!



  1. why am i not surprised that i have the inclination towards falling under the category of having “enemies” as “lovers”? Literal meaning of “Love thy enemies” hahaha. WHich is why, i try to keep “enemies” to minimum.

  2. *lol* ooh this is promising… btw this comment and what you said at the end of Broadway Beng, I am starting to have a picture of the kind of person you would fall in love with ha ha ha ha ha…!

  3. I also love the ‘best friends becoming a couple’ plot :) And like Ann, I also believe that you never knew when the line was crossed… but like JF puts it, ‘Is that important?’… Haha…

  4. Ha ha Ivy, soon… soon!

    And to YW, Zibin says the same thing! But my response is, “does it have to be important for us to talk about it?” ha ha…

  5. haha.. u noe God willing, if i do get married, i think my story plot will prob be “couple becoming best friends” :) i find it very hard to be best friends with a guy and not have feelings for him leh. dunno how u girls do it man…

  6. Actually, er, maybe cos we both had eyes for other people at that time hahaha :P so we could share pretty openly about how we felt… and probably also because JF was not the type of guy I would normally like (romantically) too… and if you ask him, he would say the same for me too :)

    And to Ann… aiyah, when JF said that, I just said, ‘Oh yah hor, not important hor…’ duh…

  7. Ha ha yah this kind of thing is destiny I think. If it happens, it happens… it’s not like I planned it! :P

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