When it comes to romance, many like it hot from the beginning. Tales of ‘love at first sight’ are enduringly popular. Another popular take is that of enemies becoming lovers where at first the two can’t stand each other only to find that their simmering caustic chemistry can actually lead to passion.
But for me, my favourite love stories have always been those of deep friendships growing into love. I believe it started with my reading of Anne of Green Gables when I was nine, where Anne Shirley realized that her best friend had become much more important to her than she had thought. The pal she had grown up with, competed with, confided in, shared dreams and heartbreaks with, had somehow crept in and stolen her heart when she wasn’t looking.
Perhaps another reason I like such romances is because when love blossoms from a true friendship, the two people already know and care for each other deeply. Often it’s impossible to know, even in retrospect, when the line of friendship had been crossed. Usually such couples can tell you when they realized they loved the other more than as a friend, but they can almost never pin-point to when they started loving in that way.
I know this very well, because every now and then I still like to ask my husband when he started loving me, and his honest answer has always been, “I don’t know.” And I believe him, because I don’t know when I started either. All I remember is that he was just the most comfortable friend I’ve ever had, someone I hadn’t even been remotely attracted to before, and then one day I realized I cared more than I thought I did.
The transition from friends to lovers can be pretty awkward. It feels like a veil has been lifted and you see the person in an entirely new way. You have to start from a new beginning and learn to re-establish your friendship within the context of a love relationship.
Some couples were friends first… others learned to become friends after falling in love. Either way, I am a firm advocate of friendship between spouses because it’s simply wonderful to experience friendship and love with the most important person in your life!
Here’s a little piece of music I really like titled “Friendship & Love” from a drama (9 end 2 outs) that tells the story of two life-long friends finding themselves not where they thought they would be as they turn 30. Enjoy![audio:http://animann.negimaki.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/friendship-and-love.mp3%5D