For years I had regretted the choice of my Confirmation name. At 14, I had felt that my baptism name ‘Ann’ was too plain. I wanted my Confirmation name to make my name more… romantic. And that’s why I chose Cassandra. I thought ‘Ann Cassandra’ had a nice ring to it. As I grew older, I became embarrassed about the frivolous, romantic name. And so it was that my Confirmation name had been a closely guarded secret for years.
But recently, I began to wonder. I may not have known what I was doing when I chose that name. But what if there was a reason for my choosing this name? I went to look up the etymology of Cassandra, and these are the various meanings I found:
1) Helper of men
2) Shining upon men
3) Inflaming men with love
Taken in the context of my vocation and mission, I no longer find ‘Cassandra’ repugnant. For my deepest desire is to help people find Christ and for them to come to love Him in a deeper way. Christ is the Light, and if I can in some way let Him shine through my life onto others, I would be grateful and content. If my ministry could inflame others with love for Christ, I would live and die happy.
I have also come to love ‘Ann’ (meaning: Grace) very much. This name that I used to find plain and homely now seems so beautiful in its simplicity to me. It reminds me to decrease so that Christ might increase in me.
And so it is that at this phase of my personal journey, I have come to accept my name. Is that not a happy thing? :D