As my birthday drew to a close this year, it hit me that this year marks 25 years since the first time I asked God for my mission – the mission He created me for.
25 years since Christ responded with, “Are you willing to suffer for me?” 25 years since He tenderly yet very firmly said to me, “Until you are ready to suffer for me, you are not ready to know your mission.”
In these 25 years I’ve learned that suffering is inevitable even when I do everything I can to avoid it. I’ve learned that rather than lift me out of my pain, Christ often enters into my suffering and invites me to remain with Him and be transformed.
I’ve learned that rather than lift me out of my pain, Christ often enters into my suffering and invites me to remain with Him and be transformed.
At the same time Christ has taught me to be unabashed in desiring and enjoying beauty, wonder, comfort and joy, and to be child-like in relishing what brings me pleasure because these fortify my soul and teach me to be God’s child.
He has changed my understanding of holiness from one of moral perfection to one of becoming more wholly loved and fearlessly loving in and with the Trinitarian God – and to be content and unashamed with how messy and imperfect this process truly is.
He has changed my understanding of holiness from one of moral perfection to one of becoming more wholly loved and fearlessly loving in and with the Trinitarian God – and to be content and unashamed with how messy and imperfect this process truly is.
More and more I am stepping away from the confines of what my narrow understanding of “Good” is to let the Holy Spirit lead me into the wilderness and to discover the wildness and vastness of the God I thought I knew. To fall more deeply in love with him and his creation, and to more boldly claim the name he has given me and ALL that entails – “BELOVED”.
“My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready!
I will sing and make melody!
Awake, my soul!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the Dawn!” – Ps 108:1
Journey of the Heart 