Knowing my heart

I asked myself today, “How do you really feel about this motherhood thing? Do you want to have children?” I replied, Yes I do. I have always loved children. I always wanted to be a mother and take care of children. I want to love them, protect them, and see them grow up. I want my own children. I do. But that is not my greatest desire. There is something I want even more; and that is fulfilling God’s purpose for me. “Be it []

“Alone with the Alone,” John Maloney, SJ.

“Silence is the language of deeper, infused prayer that the Holy Spirit gives to God’s poor children who hunger and thirst for his word. Ultimately it is the ability to live in mystery. For those who enter into this mystery, there is real communication, deep love, full healing and maturity. But how few are ready to pay the price to enter deeply into mystery and stay there. Prayer is a mystery; silence is its language.”

Waiting

In prayer it was revealed to me that there are three spiritual pillars I need to root myself deeply in: 1. Prayer []

St. Pope John Paul II

For a stalk to grow or a flower to open there must be a time that cannot be forced: nine months must go by for the birth of a human child; to write a book or compose music often years must be dedicated to patient research…to find the mystery there must be patience, interior purification, silence, waiting.

The God of Stumbles and Falls

You know the popular question that people have, “If God is a loving God, why does He allow suffering?” Well, I thought I had gone past asking that question until recently when I discovered that I am still struggling with it in a different form. The question I ask is, “If God loves His children so much, why does He let them screw up their lives?” At 35 years old, I have lived enough years to see people of my generation bear the painful []

To the King of My Heart

Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of the Universe 23 November 2014 Dearest Jesus, Do you remember the day when I “crowned” you king in my heart? I was 15; hurt, lonely, and lost. The world I thought I had known had crumbled around me, both at home and in school. I learned for the first time in my young life that there is no guarantee in life for the pillars of my life – the key relationships I had always []

The Joy of Not Belonging

Ever since I read Anne of Green Gables when I was nine years old, I longed for a bosom friend like the titular heroine had. How wonderful it would be, I thought, to have someone who loves me and understands me completely, and, more importantly, with whom I will always belong. Since then, I had been seeking for a community to call my own. I prayed, I sought, I tried in different ways to belong to someone or a group of people []