In less than three days I’ll be leaving Singapore again, and my mind has been full of thoughts and reflections. I’ve been so busy during the day this week that I’ve been losing sleep in the night due to all the things whirling in my mind.
These two months in Singapore have been crazy busy, but it has also been very restful and fruitful for me in many ways. Wedding preparations went on without much glitch and I’ve witnessed first hand how easily cooperative decisions can be arrived at when all parties make the effort to be generous in spirit. I think all parties (i.e. the two bridal couples and three sets of parents) have come to a deeper acquaintance and appreciation for one another through this process, and that is only because I could see that everyone was willing to ‘take the lower place’ so to speak. And in the end, everyone came out richer for it!
On a more personal level, these two months have also been invaluable for me. In a way, this time has served as a ‘review’ of my life so far; a chance for me to take stock of where I’d been heading, where I am, and where I am going. I’ve also had the chance to reflect in a much deeper way than before on my relationship with God, with myself, and with others.
There’s one word that keeps coming back to me these days in my reflections. And that word is ‘rootedness’. Am I rooted? What am I rooted in? It has come to my own realization that I am not rooted enough.
It is my desire that my life can be a blessing to others. This has always been the case. But in the past, I never thought to examine why I have that desire, or if the desire was rooted in the right place. This lack of self-awareness has in many ways been holding me back from truly being a blessing to others, and to myself. I see that so clearly now as I never did before.
I suddenly think of a tree. Yes, if it were possible, I’d like my life in some ways to be like that of a great tree… a strong, healthy tree with spreading branches and magnificent foliage. A tree that provides shade for a tired traveller, and branches and nooks for little creatures to nest and frolick in. A tree that can provide a moment’s hospitality for anyone that needs some rest before continuing on his or her travels.
However, such a tree must have extensive and very deep roots… and such a tree can only exist and thrive in fertile ground. What is the ground I have sunk my roots into? Does it give me the nutrients I need for such growth? And how deep are my roots? Do they go deep enough to support my hope and vision?
My conclusion at this point in my life is that I am planted in fertile soil. I’ve been taught good values, have had a great role-model, and I have all that I ever need in God. However, my roots do not go deep enough. I am not sufficiently grounded in my faith or in my own heart. But at least now I know this. I must tend to my roots. With God’s grace, and the love and support of all the good people in my life, I will strive to be the best human being that I can be. :)