Back on Canadian Soil

Well, I’m back. And I feel torn between just catching up on sleep and getting some much needed rest, and getting started on all the things I need to do.

I want to do a ‘spring’ clean for my room and throw lots and lots of junk out (am in a throw-away mood which means I probably will be trashing things I otherwise may be undecided about keeping or not). I also want to find a time when my housemates are free so we can take inventory of kitchen-ware, appliances, condiments etc etc so we can throw, clean, and re-tidy everything up. And then of course Zibin and I need to go shopping (or rummaging through the stuff in my house) for the various things he needs to get for his apartment in Ithaca.

I also need to do some planning for when my 大姑 and 大姑丈 are in Toronto next week, and then as soon as I can, I have to plunge back into my academic work and the GSCOPE conference that I’m helping to organize. [*takes a deep breath* I shall not be overwhelmed… :P]

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OPL1204 is really a girls’ apartment now, and the last time I stayed in an all-girl environment was my freshman year in 1998. It’s… different. Yesterday evening, I was listening with quiet amusement to Wanting and Melissa chatting in the corridor. The voices, the excited intonations, the giggles, the conversation topics… they were all very feminine and so different compared to the Peking Opera that Wanting and Yuandong put up in the past *grin*.

The three of us are spaced 2 years apart in age (1979, 1981, 1983), and interestingly enough, the oldest inhabitant is also the only student left in the apartment. It will be a new routine and a new experience living with two members of the ‘working class’ so to speak. *muses*

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I haven’t had time to indulge in my philosophical reflections about returning to Toronto this time around. But I can feel ‘it’ – the subtle turning deep in my mind that tugs at my heart – it’s the feeling I always have when I have something I am thinking about, even if it’s not with full attention.

It’s a sad realization that I don’t even have a year left in Toronto. Just 10 months. Time will fly.

As I’ve mentioned to some people who have asked, I am ready to leave Toronto and I look forward to the next phase of life waiting for me in Singapore. Still, I will be sad, and I will miss the city and all the people and memories that have made it so much a part of me in the past 8 years.

But I’m glad too, because really, I won’t be losing anything by leaving. I’ll be looking to let the seeds sown in my heart while I was here flower and bear fruit for the rest of my life.

You may wonder why I am talking about leaving already when I still have 10 more months to go. :) Well… remember what Morrie said? When you learn how to die, you learn how to live, right? Well, perhaps if I learn how to say good-bye to Toronto now, I will make sure that the next 10 months are lived to their fullest purpose in every aspect of my life.