Today is the happiest day of my life. Today, I realized that in all my life, I have never been able to accept or love myself because I have been measuring myself against my mother. What I am about to share in no way detracts from all the wonderful ways she has loved and taught […]
Recent Posts
An ABD's confession
Note: ‘ABD’ is a term PhD candidates use to describe their “All-But-Dissertation” status. That means they’ve finished all their requirements except the dissertation – it’s the final stretch. I’ve been ABD twice. Once in early 2007, then again in early 2008 because I decided to change my topic after realizing the first topic was unfeasible. […]
Seeing myself
People of faith don’t believe in coincidences. So I see it as God’s perfect timing that yesterday, my father brought back a digitally restored video of my kindergarten performance in 1984. Just when I realize that I don’t know how to accept or love myself – and that I don’t even know how to see […]
A wise and holy priest
A while ago, after I had become aware of my great need for healing, I felt a strong inner prompting to seek the direction and counsel of Fr. William Goh. Initially I was hesitant to approach him because I know him to be extremely busy, being the rector of the St. Francis Xavier Seminary and […]
Born again!
The revelations keep coming. And I had a real tragically funny one this morning. It suddenly hit me WHAT my distorted image of God was. It was the image of a God OBLIGED to love me. And so it is that I have always believed God loves me no matter what. But He loves me […]
Permission to be unhappy
Do you ever feel a sense of obligation to be happy? I realize I do. When people ask me, “So how have you been?” I usually respond with, “Ok.” And then I’d feel guilty about not being able to have responded with, “Everything’s great!” That’s right, I feel guilty for not being happier. Like there’s […]
To let myself be loved
I learned today, that while all along I have been trying to love God, I have not allowed God to love me. And linked to that is my inability to love and accept myself, and my ingrained idea that love needs to be merited. What a heavy burden it is that I have been carrying […]
The need to be broken
As I grow older, and my spiritual quest becomes deeper, I am increasingly aware of the many false images and walls I have built up over the course of my life. It is not the same as identifying false images ‘out there’ in the world or in society. Identifying false images in myself takes a […]
Health status update
I’m so grateful for the kind wishes and prayers that have been expressed for my recovery to health! A little update: I went to see my family doctor again today cos I’ve been coughing pretty violently. In fact, I woke up with sore ribs this morning! Good news is that the bacterial infection has cleared […]
Sick of being sick
What a way to start 2009! Since the stroke of midnight on Jan 1, I’ve been S.I.C.K. Interestingly enough, my parents and John were all sick around the same time too. And I don’t live together with them! Thankfully, the one I am living with seems relatively unaffected. :P I suppose I’m more or less […]
Journey of the Heart 