Hubby and I had an interesting conversation after watching a drama in which the hero (for various reasons) self-denied his growing affections for the heroine.
Hubby says he would never do that. If he likes, he likes. He’d admit it to himself.
I asked him… but what if liking that person complicates matters? You wouldn’t try and deny your feelings?
Hubby says nope. He’d face his feelings squarely and then deal with whatever the situation was.
I look at him, a little incredulous but impressed. You see, I have to admit I can be quite the drama queen of denial when it comes to feelings.
As usual, the conversation had to end on a rather absurd note. Hubby says, “That’s why I’m an engineer. Very straight one. That’s why you’re the artsy-fartsy philosopher!”
*bang head against wall*
Hubby is also a guy that doesn’t believe in ‘wooing’ a girl he likes. As he graciously puts it, “If she likes me, then she’ll like me regardless. I don’t believe in trying to get a girl to like me.”
Hubby’s the kind of guy that can walk away peacefully if the girl doesn’t like him. If it can make her happy, he would even be willing to stay out of her life, or to wish her happiness with another person. He is the kind that really believes in the saying ‘if you love her, let her go’. Oh, and he always felt it was a great thing to suffer for love… (explains why he loves Wang Jie’s songs)
Me on the other hand, I used to be afraid to love because I always had a hard time letting go. So my modus operandi used to be to deny or stop my feelings before they get too deep. I was afraid to love because I was afraid of being hurt… I never felt that it would be ‘great’ if I could suffer for love. *wry grin*
Maybe that’s why God let it happen such that I grew to love Zibin so gradually that I didn’t even realize it until I was in too deep to stop. God didn’t give me a chance to run away because He knew I would have!
I’m different now. I’m not that scared about loving people anymore. Ironically, it wasn’t love that catalyzed the change, it was rejection. It was the pain of human rejection that opened my eyes to the joy of love grounded in God rather than in selfish fear.
So to all who suffer heart-break:
Hang in there! Don’t be afraid when your heart breaks. Have faith! Day will always follow the darkest night. If you have loved truly, heartbreak won’t kill you but it will make your heart more alive. Eventually.
Forgive. Smile… and move on bravely. A new and better self will emerge from the ashes if you desire it. You can do it!!!